Sylvia, the goat

I have a great idea!  Let’s write a play where a business man has a family and a seemingly perfect relationship with his wife.   But (and here’s the kicker!) it turns out he is having a sexual affair with a goat.  Yes, as in “baaahh.”  

Dadgumit!  I just got word that the idea is already taken.  LAB! Theater, a UNC student organization, has produced the play “The Goat, or Who is Sylvia,” a drama which seeks to shock.  The playwright, one Edward Albee, denies this, however.  According to him, the play was written in order that the audience may “imagine how they would respond if they were in such a situation.”  Um….

And, as exciting as the whole goat sex thing is, the depth of the art does not stop at that.  No, that would be much too urbane.  The business man’s son has recently announced that he is gay.  But, that’s not all folks!  There is an awkward scene in which son and father exchange a kiss.  Albee expressed in a Los Angeles Times interview that he was surprised that it was at this moment that people began to walk out.  In other words: sex with goat, okay; making out with the son, not okay.  Well, at least we’ve got that going for us as a society.

Imagine if this play had been one that made light of homosexuality or some other obsession dear to UNC.  Imagine the review that it would receive in the DTH and the offense that would be taken by the general student population.  There would be much investigation.  The Young Dems, the BSM, and the Campus Y would probably all protest the play.  There would be a call for an ethics query due to Student Congress having supported the organization.  And, after a week of hoopla, the director would apologize and resign, be charged with a hate crime, and end up in prison.  But sex with a goat?  Eh.  Whatever, dude.

Now, I have it on pretty good authority that student fee money was not used to fund the play, but that is irrelevant.  Lab has been funded by student fees before and it has asked to be funded again next year.  I also have it on pretty good authority that the acting by our fellow students was superb.  I do not doubt that it was.  Actually, I helped out with LAB! once last year, serving as an assistant stage manager.  During my time there I was very impressed with the talent  of those whose acquaintance I was pleased to make.  Nevertheless, when I think of the lack of outrage and offense taken by the student body over events such as this one ( the “I Heart Female Orgasm” event is another example), I cannot help but feel rather like I live in a parallel universe. 

Universalist symbol

Chapel Hill Community Church is putting on a play entitled “Jesus – The Teen Years,” a pathetic excuse for art which, according to its director, Julie Tomkovick, is an attempt to take “a familiar story and [turn] it into something recognizable.”  Read: the play treats the subject of the holy life of Jesus Christ as if it were a cheap circus act.   Tomkovick presents the audience with an over-the-top comedy that doesn’t let the facts get in the way. One thing’s for sure, however: she chose the correct church at which to host her production.

According to one of the actors staring in the play, “Jesus is no different from anyone else.”  A visit to the Chapel Hill Community Church’s website will leave one with a similar impression.  You see, Community is a Unitarian Universalist congregation and Unitarian Universalists don’t allow themselves to “’be bound by a statement of belief.’”  No, Unitarian Universalists have many “beliefs within” their “faith” among which Christianity holds a dubious place along with “Jews, Buddhists, Hindus, Pagans, Atheists, Agnostics, Humanists, and others.”  And, lest we commit a sin against the diversity god, let us not forget the Wiccans or the witches and other “earth-based spiritualities” that, according to the Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations’ website, make up 19% of the denomination.     

Glory ‘hallelu! Hopefully it won’t be too disheartening for the eager beaver Unitarians to learn that there exists a Law of Non-Contradiction; either there is a God, or there isn’t. But the ‘Communi ‘Unis won’t even admit that much.  Therefore, Community’s doctrine amounts to a meaningless collection of stupid platitudes that (just oh, by the way) make a mockery of Christ’s teaching, which brings me back to the ridiculous play at hand. 

 Among the more revealing details of Jesus’ teen years, he discovers that his sister is a lesbian.  And, apparently Judas Iscariot was Christ’s childhood chum.  Why Judas?  Well, according to the director, Judas “got a bad rap” because “without Judas’ eventual betrayal…the rest of the story wouldn’t have happened.”  And, the play’s summary found on the play’s official website goes on to say, “Judas’ act comes from love and courage, not cowardice.”  I see.  So, when Jesus said, “but woe to that man by whom the Son of man is betrayed! good were it for that man if he had never been born” he was just kidding.  Hahaha!

Community Church’s teaching constitutes nothing short of moronic mumbojumbo that is accompanied nicely by “Jesus – The Teen Years.”  And, in it’s rejection of Christ’s exclusive teaching (i.e. John 14: 6, “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.”) the local church spits in the face of the Lord’s work on the cross.

(Note: there seems to be more than one Community Chruch; we are refering to the one located on 106 Purefoy Rd., Chapel Hill, NC)