After sitting through boring forums and spending minutes analyzing the candidates for SBP, I have come to the following conclusions about each of them:

Shruti Shah: Shruti seems to focus on making the size of student government smaller.  This is without a doubt the most brilliant thing for which I have ever heard an SBP candidate advocate.

Greg Strompolos: Greg has one platform point that he ever reiterates: bring Google Apps to campus.  Personally, I have no idea what that means. 

Monique Hardin: Seems to be a nice person who wants to hold office hours in the pit.  Believe me, I will not be going. 

Nash Keune: Nash’s campaign is funny and anyone who doesn’t think so probably takes student politics too seriously. 

Joe Levin-Manning: From what he has said at the forums I have no idea for what Joe stands.

Hogan Medlin:  Frankly, Hogan’s eagerness and major in political science turns me off.  But, alas, people who want to be SBP are the people who run for SBP.

I’ve met most of the candidates, and they are nice people.  However, from what I can tell, Shruti and Monique are the only ones with sticking points (the ones all of them reiterate at the forums) that address issues within their power to address.  And, from what I think, out of those two only Shruti has an idea worth implementing. 

Overall though, I find it increasingly stupid to care what the SBP candidates do or think.  For instance, all of the SBP candidates participated in the Bounce Forum last night.  There they each proved themselves to be basically the same (I refer to the “serious” candidates — you be the judge).  I watched them grandly laugh at jokes that maybe the most jaded of third graders would smirk at. 

To be clear, I am saying they are frauds who, for the most part, believe that student government matters beyond the regulation of our student fees.  The mentality that all problems ever known to man must be addressed through one channel, that of government fiat, has flooded over to saturate the debate.  They are delusional, and should think about getting real jobs.